Pretty please with sugar on top?

I've spent the last couple of years working dope and violent street crime in some of the crappiest parts of my city. During that time my team and I have knocked doors off hinges during entries, busted out car windows during vehicle assaults, shot dogs, and planted people on the ground hard. However we never received a single internal affairs complaint or been threatened with a lawsuit during that time. I guess if you are a robber or a drug dealer, you understand how the game works and you take your lumps as part of doing business.

I've been back on the bike patrol for less than a month and I've already been threated with IA investigations and a lawsuit twice for barely putting my hands on someone. Man I forgot how much rich college kids and business men get on my nerves. They think that they don't have to listen to the police and that they are above being forced to do something.

Last weekend I was happily pedaling my bike around bar closing time when I saw a drunk guy standing in the middle of a lane of traffic. He was trying to hail a cab but was forcing traffic to go around him. Since it was late at night and I didn't want him to get run over, I came up and told him to get out of the road. Instead of doing it, he wanted to argue with me that he wasn't doing anything wrong. I had to threaten him with arrest before he would listen to me.

As I started to bike off, he stepped back in the street and yelled, "Fuck you asshole!" Well that did it. I came back around and got in his face. I told him that he was under arrest and to put his hands behind his back. He just stood there with a smirk on his face and said I couldn't arrest him. One judo hip toss later, he was laying on his face while I cuffed him.

All the way to the jail I had to hear how I didn't know who he was and that he would have my badge, blah, blah, blah... He was so upset that I touched him. I asked why he didn't just do what I asked and he said it was because I didn't ask nice enough for him to get out of the street.

Once we got to the jail, he wouldn't sit on the bench while we waited to have him processed. I told him that if he didn't sit down, I was going to force him to. He said, "I think I will just keep standing. Thank you very much."

One jugular notch pressure point later and he was sitting on his butt coughing. This pulled his string again and I had to listen to more threats of lawsuits and unemployment.

Makes me kinda miss the ghetto.